Don’t you hate it when people make a joke about you, about something that you are actually incredibly insecure about? And they don’t realize it, but every laugh feels like a stab in your chest, because it hurts so much and brings up memories you’d rather forget, but you cant say anything, because then people would know your weaknesses. They’d know how insecure you really are. So instead you just laugh it off, and hide the pain you feel inside.

(Source: tryhardandnevergiveup)

When you burst out crying alone in your room, and you realize that no one truly knows how unhappy you are because you don’t know how to explain whats going on and no one wants to listen either.

So I took 4 pills of orphenadrine and redbull. And I’m still breathing. I waited for hours, but all that happened is I got dizzy and my vision was blurred. And to top that up, I couldn’t stand or walk straight.
I need something fast and painless.

Okay I’m freaking out. I can’t find my box of pills anywhere! Fuck.

I found them!

I think tomorrow’s going to be the day. I’m going to take a bunch of orphenadrine mixed with redbull.

I decided that I’m going to overdose on it everyday until it happens. I won’t know when my heart will stop beating, until I get the ‘feeling of euphoria’ as the internet says.

I also decided that I won’t write an actual note. I’ll explain everything on here and if people find it, they’ll know. Otherwise, this will look like an accident.

As for now, goodnight. I’ll update this later tomorrow. Maybe.